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He'd eventually go find someone else, a marriage with him would be doomed from the first night. I couldnt, how do I explain this to him without hurting his feelings or giving him the impression that I didnt like him? He sensed my hesitation, he knew something was wrong. He took my hand and directed me to a nearby bench, looking at me with his deep brown eyes asking me what I was thinking. How do I tell him?? I could never measure up to other women hes been with, he was more experienced sexually than I would ever be. I couldnt keep him happy, what about having children? It takes having sex to concieve, he was only 28, he wasnt going to stay with someone older than him. Marriage was a huge step, it never crossed my mind, all these thoughts was going through my head. I couldnt think straight, I didnt know what to say. "Id only get married if I was pregnant", I didnt even realize I said that outloud. He looked at me, kissed me, said we can arrange that. I looked at him, how? I cant. . to help you." I didn't have to fake any sincerity or enthusiasm with this affirmation.She seemed almost to slump in her chair with relief. How frightening it must have been to take such a chance with her kid bother, to have stretched herself so much and how relieved she appeared to be when I jumped with joy at the opportunity."Oh, good! I've got everything upstairs in my room. The scissors, the comb, and the clippers... "Interrupting, I asked, "The straight razor?"Jamming her hands into her crotch, she doubled over and said, "Not a chance, Billy. Not even close. I saw you shaving with that damn thing and I saw the nicks... "Throwing up my hands in surrender, I said, "Kidding, just kidding, Jean, honest."Jean jumped up and ran into the house laughing and squealing, "I can't believe I'm doing this."I came in behind her just in time to see her long legs disappearing up the stairs and by the time I got to her room, she was standing in front of an open dresser drawer, holding up a pair.
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